Pairing: Sakurai ShoxOC
His hand grip the steer until his fingers whiten. The car moves in a high speed as his foot hit the gas pedal roughly. The scenery outside is buildings and road covered in white, merry with Christmas decoration and people passing with shopping bags in hands. He gives no care, the atmosphere outside doesn’t reach him, as if he was in a different world and not belong to this place.
‘I will go to America. My parent has setting up a marriage for me. They probably want me to live there after the marriage.’
A short email that made his heart sank. Is this some kind of joke? But he could tell the seriousness from the words, she isn’t the type to fooling around with serious matter like this, despite her everyday humor which sometimes made him frown, but live up his days.
He decided wouldn’t go, even at the end he gave up to his heart which hunger of explanation -no, conclusion. Indescribable lump in his heart urge him to give his car more speed, his right foot hit the pedal gas further. He punch the steer after he step his foot to hit the break, being force to stop the car by a traffic light in front of him.
I wanna feel yor love, fukinukeru
Sono shirabe, doko e yuku
I wanna feel your love, dakishimetainda
Yume no naka demo, but you were mine
A hand reached him, much more slender than his. Their fingers entwined as he turned his head to passenger seat, another hand tucked her hair strands behind her ear. She smiled to him, tilted her head and leaned against his shoulder.
Repetitive loud horn from the car behind his brings him to present, accelerate the car at the same speed as before. He’s angry. To her, to himself, he’s not sure. Maybe she has lost faith in him, yet he couldn’t say a word to make her stay, to wait. He hate his self indecisiveness. But he can’t give up what he built until he became who he is, his life, aspiration, agency, friends –Arashi, not now.
He didn’t realize when he got out from car. All he knows now is to run with his might, his heart beating hard inside the ribcage. He stops, hands at his hips, trying to breathing properly, eyes spread the view to people crowd crossing and passing inside the hall. He always found her, know by heart every curve of her silhouette, every gesture and her movement.
She sat on the edge of long waiting chair, wearing her light brown cardigan on top of florally white dress, the one that she ever wore to one of their restaurant date. Looking blankly to the view the big glass window beside her had offer, her face looks tired. He stand in front of her, utter no word. Aware of his presence, she lift her head, tears pooled at the corner of her eyes.
“Sho, what are you doing here?” she stand up, as if to look better at his face.
“To send you off. And congratulate you.” An awkward chuckle let out when he said the latter sentence left bitter smile in his face.
Tears rolling down her cheeks as she heard him, “I’m sorry, Sho.” He resist the urge to pull her into his embrace, instead he tucked her hair behind her ear – his favorite thing to do, and wipe her tears with his thumb.
“No, I am. I am who’s sorry.” It’s the right thing to say. He knew how hard she endure all the hardship when she’s with him, yet she never once complaint. She's being his support all along but this time he will be hers, even in a painful way.
I wanna feel your love, kogoeteru
Nukumori wa, dare no mono
I wanna feel your love, negau namida
Ukande wa kieru, and you were mine
Kimi no asu wo negau yo
A loud voice spread trough the hall, announcing her flight’s departure. She takes her bag, then see him in the eyes, “You know I will do if you ask me to.” Her eyes softened, almost pleading, but he made his decision.
“Be safe. Be happy. Good bye.” Finally he can let out that words with a smile. A soft and assuring smile, even he himself didn’t know where he got a power to do that.
Her eyes teary, again, looking at him in disbelief and disappointed, but she manages to smile, “Good bye.” She kissed his cheek, for the last time, while murmuring ‘take care of yourself’ to him. And then walk away to departure gate.
He saw her walk away until her figure vanished from his vision. He sat on the chair where she was as his feet felt limp, face buried inside his hands palm while his body shaking, trying not to let out a sob for other people to hear.
He walk towards the studio, where the other four members has waiting for him. Passing by the staff and he nod whilst greeting them, try his best to giving them his usual face and smile instead his mix feeling and his blank mind.
“Sorry, I’m late.” He says to the other four, sincerely. “It’s okay, Sho-chan, you’re never late before.” Aiba reassure him with a wide grin and a hand on his back. Matsujun nods and smile while Ohno and Nino stop their conversation to give him understandable look.
“Okay, we’re ready.” Nino announce to the staffs to start the shooting. “By the way, Riida said he wants to take all of us for a drink tonight,” Nino said abruptly while looking at Sho, like he read him, “Riida’s treat of course.” A grin plastered his face. Ohno looks baffled, glance at Sho then quickly nod, “O – ou! Leave it to me!”
He felt a warm sensation swirling in his heart, as if giving him strength to carry on. “Okay… On cue, 3 – 2 – 1!” The staff’s voice give them signal as the camera start to roll.
He starts the show with his best look and smile.